1. I felt the introduction was too much in length and was very wordy. The descriptions in his introduction made me not want to read the rest of the essay as I felt this wordiness would continue throughout the story.
2. The writer did focus on one significant event, but he kept referring to past events that confused me throughout the story. I felt he put in too many details to make this event be completely significant.
3. The descriptions of the characters do help them to feel alive and make me feel as I am there with him. I felt the author needs to keep these descriptions in the story to add character.
4. The writer did quote some speech and dialogue.
5. I felt the writer included too many details of the event to make it easy for me to relate to. I found it difficult to follow along with the reader, and many of the sentences seemed to be run on sentences. The sentence structure had little to no variance which also made it difficult for me to read.
6. I felt the writer did explain why he had everyone in the story and that each character played a significant part of the story.
7. The conclusion seemed out of place for me, but did tie up the story about him taking a camping trip with his son.
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